I’ve been quiet on my blog for almost a year. Every time I thought about writing, I drew a blank. I’ve been feeling like I’m not enough: not good enough, thin enough, skilled enough, fill in the blank enough. I couldn’t see a way out of my feelings. I’ve been stuck. Maybe you’re experiencing some of those thoughts, too.

There’s a saying in the coaching world that informs my thinking. It goes like this: “You can’t coach someone beyond where you have gone yourself.” I realized I had gotten stuck in my own life. How ironic, right? I’m a coach to others in many areas, but I was stuck and hindered from moving forward in my personal and professional growth.

Like most humans I was stuck and didn’t know it for awhile, until a growing awareness of my actions became uncomfortable for me. Something wasn’t working right in my life. I felt it but didn’t know what or why. I knew I didn’t want to continue living out of this place of discontent and discomfort.

I realized I needed to get my act together and deal with some stuff. I’m not a masochist, so like most of us, I can avoid facing hard things through all the ways: emotional eating, drinking, shopping, television, social media scrolling, and lots of other distractions. But there comes an end to those things and often the end isn’t pretty. So I took myself by the shoulders and said,

Knowing what action to take needs some tools. I’m a huge fan of personality and temperament inventories. I appreciate the data that can help me & others see how we’re wired and how those data points can help us know ourselves better. I’m a fan because I have experienced the benefit myself. I’m still learning and growing and hope to keep doing so for the rest of my life. Living the coach approach helps me recognize when I’m stuck and how to take action to move forward.

As an ENFJ on the Myers-Briggs Inventory, I look at the world through the lens of values and connections. I’m wired for personal growth and development. I also have an interesting StrengthsFinder profile; empathy, relator, learner, restorative and activator are my top five strength themes. As a high D and slightly higher I on the DiSC profile I am a person who influences the culture. So with all this awareness and action oriented data points, what was keeping me from continuing to move forward in my career and life pursuits?

Mindset.

Imagine you’re driving along a windy mountain road, as you come around a blind curve you see a huge boulder in your way blocking the road in both directions. You can’t go forward. Turning around will be challenging. For the moment you’re stuck.

Photo by Yasin Küçükdişli on Unsplash

A fixed mindset is like that. We don’t see possibilities. Instead we see all the reasons why we can’t move forward. And just like the analogy of the boulder, you need outside help to continue in the same direction on the road. I was telling myself, ‘I am not enough’. I began believing ‘I am not enough’. My self-limiting beliefs were expressing the doubt I hid deep inside, the doubt that says things like “Did God really say …?”

The way that I apply the coach approach to life is to connect the dots of work, life & faith. And I was missing the dot of faith. I’ve spent the last year chipping away at the boulder in my way.  I realize I took that boulder on all by myself without including the power of God in me. Sometimes life is like that; slow almost imperceptible movement then all of a sudden, WHAM! The Way forward is clear!

Are you sensing discomfort in your work or life? Have you forgotten the dot of faith? Are you recognizing you’re stuck in places you don’t want to stay and want to learn tools to help you move forward? Working with me we will develop your awareness and action-steps that can help you connect the dots in your work, life & faith. My first session with prospective clients is a complimentary exploration session. You can schedule an appointment for your own exploration session right here. You too can learn to live the coach approach to life.