Looking in the mirror I see my face changed with years; I completed my 62nd trip around the sun just two months ago. You might think that by this time I am well acquainted with me. I am and I am not yet.

Living things grow and growing things change.

In 2013 I heard this statement spoken by Christine Caine and the words burrowed into me. The consequential opposite is, if you’re not growing and changing then are you truly living?

2013 was a season of immense change in my life: empty nest, moved from our home of 15 years, from the area I spent 29 years of life, gave up our pets and most of our possessions, into an area densely populated, knowing only my husband who was entering a demanding position at the pinnacle of his career (think-works long hours). Too much of anything is simply too much. I had no idea how off center I was, that I needed to give myself permission to grieve all the loss. Depression crept in like the dark rain clouds over my house at this moment; it remained longer than I care to admit.

Knowing myself to be a positive, upbeat, encouraging person, I tried to show that face to people I’d encounter at the market, to my husband, and to people we met as we tried to find a church community to transplant into. But it was a facade; a false front. Getting acquainted with what my soul needed took longer; my soul has not had as much care and feeding as my mind. It waits in quiet, longing for space to breathe.

The long season of depression gave space for soul-breathing; the deepening work for which I am eternally grateful. I read authors who penned words from their own dark spaces which gave such encouragement: to rest in God, to get up and move with God, and to slow my habit of overcommitment to learn to keep pace with God.

Why is knowing yourself helpful?

The gift of knowledge can lead to wisdom that can grow a life of kingdom influence. Know-Grow-Show.

Action step: look at the collage you made, write down several things it tells you about yourself. Add other things to your list that come up as you ponder your life. The time you’re giving yourself is not wasted. God wants you to learn to value you as He does. If you don’t know how much you are valued, you’re not likely to live a valuable life.