When faced with change what is your first internal response?
That’s too hard! I can’t do that! That will never work! I tried that before and it was miserable! That’s lame. No way am I doing that! I like things just the way they are.
OR
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Wow that’s interesting! I wonder if that will work? How hard can it be? I wonder what it will take to make that happen?
There are lots of variations on each theme but there are only two categories.
Closed or Open. Sometimes the category names are different; Fixed or Growth
These categories refer to mindset.
Which represents your mind?
To really be ready for change, to embrace what comes, we each need an open mind. Or a growth mindset. The easiest way to tell what perspective you hold is to pay attention to your knee jerk response to something that is going to require something of you.
If your teenager asks to have friends over to watch a movie what’s your knee jerk response?
If your parents ask you to come visit instead of them coming to your home, what’s your knee jerk reaction?
Knowing how you react when something new is asked of you will give you a clue for which category you land.
The deep work of coaching takes a long hard look at mindset to help identify why you keep circling the same issues. Dr. Brene Brown uses the phrase, “the story you’re telling yourself”. We all have them. To be able to effectively navigate change we need to be aware of our mindset toward the change.
How can a shift of perspective about change move you toward thriving?
Action step: pay attention to your first reaction when asked to do something new or different than you had planned. Just notice. Try this throughout the weekend.
Hi there! I'm Lisa. I am a native California girl married to my best friend, Colin; we currently live and work in the Silicon Valley. I am privileged to be mom to two fantastic grown sons and mom-in-law to a wonderful daughter.
2 comments
Join the conversationShannon Symonds - December 13, 2019
So true! What if you are a mixture? I seemed to be brave when it comes to helping others, adventures, and risk. Until it comes to leaving my nest or home. Pretty sure I let it keep me from flying. Pretty sentimental about the nest. Infact, my original childhood home is in a trust! lol Talk about tied to home! I live a few blocks away…. lol Good Grief! Not agoraphobic. sentimental to a fault…
Lisa Lewis - December 14, 2019
Shannon your question is perfect! Can we be a mixture of fixed and growth mindsets depending on the issue? I believe the answer is yes. Your own example speaks to the possibility. A fixed mindset only becomes an issue IF it keeps us from growth and change when we realize change needs to happen. Using your home as an example, if there was a change in work that required a move to another state, close to children & grandchildren, would you make the move or change jobs? It may not be a great example but my point is when no change is necessary our mindset isn’t an issue. When facing a change your mindset is revealed. A fixed mindset will keep us from growth & change, usually because of fear of some kind. If we desire to live a God honoring life our willingness (faith in action) to face our fears, trusting He is with us and will provide what we need (courage) is how growth happens in us. Thanks for sharing your question! Hope my answer makes sense!
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