I’ve been quiet on my blog for almost a year. Every time I thought about writing, I drew a blank. I’ve been feeling like I’m not enough: not good enough, thin enough, skilled enough, fill in the blank enough. I couldn’t see a way out of my feelings. I’ve been stuck.

There’s a saying in the coaching world that informs my thinking. It goes like this: You can’t coach someone beyond where you have gone yourself. I realized I had gotten stuck in my own life. How ironic, right? I’m a coach to others in many areas but I was stuck and hindered from moving forward in my personal and professional growth.

Being Stuck (is a road block but not the Biggest Roadblock)

Like most humans I was stuck and didn’t know it for awhile until I began to notice that how I was acting and living became uncomfortable for me. Something wasn’t working right in my life. I felt it but didn’t know what or why, but I knew I didn’t want to continue living out of this place of discontent and discomfort.

I recognize I possess a unique combination of traits and have developed skills that reinforce those traits. I am very introspective. I think a lot about my thinking, actions, past experiences and how all those affect my present. That’s not the norm for most people. I’ve developed skills to analyze and categorize in order to make informed decisions and make changes when necessary. I know that’s not how everyone moves through the world. But that’s how I do it. And for the most part, these traits and skills have served me well.

I realized I needed to get my act together and deal with some stuff. I’m not a masochist so like most of us, I can avoid facing hard things through all the ways: eating, drinking, shopping, television, social media scrolling and lots of other distractions. But there comes an end to those things and often the end isn’t pretty. So I took myself by the shoulders and said Snap Out of It!

A little backstory: I’m a huge fan of personality and temperament inventories. I appreciate the data that can help me & others see how we’re wired and how those data points can help us know ourselves better. I’m a fan because I have experienced the benefit myself. I’m still learning and growing and hope to be for the rest of my life. Living the coach approach helps me recognize when I’m stuck and how to take action to move forward.

As an ENFJ I look at the world through the lens of values and connections. I’m wired for personal growth and development. I also have an interesting Strengths profile; empathy, relator, learner, restorative and activator are my top five strength themes. As a high D and slightly higher I on the DiSC profile I am a person who influences the culture. So with all this awareness and action oriented data points, what was keeping me from continuing to move forward in my career and life pursuits?

Mindset. (It’s the Biggest Roadblock to Staying on Track)

Imagine you’re driving along a windy mountain road, as you come around a blind curve you see a huge boulder in your way blocking the road in both directions. You can’t go forward. Turning around will be challenging. For the moment you’re stuck.

A fixed mindset is like that. We don’t see possibilities. Instead we see all the reasons why we can’t move forward. And just like the analogy of the boulder, you need outside help to continue in the same direction on the road. I was telling myself, ‘I am not enough’. I began believing that ‘I am not enough’. My self-limiting beliefs were expressing the doubt I hid deep inside, the doubt that says things like “Did God really say …?”

What I truly believe is that God is sovereign over all. Including my stuck places. And He gives me grace rather than the shame of the voice in my head.

The way that I apply the coach approach to life is to connect the dots of work, life & faith. And I was missing the dot of faith. I’ve spent the last year chipping away at the boulder in my way. Only recently did I realize I was taking that boulder on all by myself without including the power of God in me. The lightbulb went on after this long waiting period.

Are you sensing discomfort in your work or life? Have you forgotten the dot of faith? Working with a coach to develop awareness and action-steps can help you connect the dots in your work, life & faith. My first  session with clients is a complimentary discovery session. Call or email me to schedule an appointment. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.